The Totality of Experience

Last week, I read Herman Hesse’s Siddhartha for the second time in my life. I read this book—my favorite book of all time—all the way back in 2010, right before starting my senior year of high school. Since then, I’ve reread bits and pieces of it, especially the last chapter, which is my favorite chapter ever. But I never reread it all the way through. Until last week. And I needed it.

I graduated from college in May, nearly 5 years after reading Siddhartha for the first time. That book changed my life the first time I read it. It made me want more out of life. I didn’t want to just be boring or average. I wanted to experience greatness and enlightenment, the way the titular character Siddhartha did in the novel.

But I lost my way over the past five years. I became more engrossed in the world, in the pleasures of life, in food and drink and women and the whole meaningless nausea of it all. I became lost and confused and uncertain. I experienced sadness, rejection, compete and utter failure. I lost not one, not two, but three loved ones, after having gone practically my entire life without ever experiencing loss.

And despite all of that, I still experienced pleasure. I had fun. I partied hard. I made the best friends ever. I met the coolest people in the world. I had a ton of great experiences. But the pain still cut deep. I couldn’t fully overcome it. Complete pleasure and complete pain at the same time. It was brutal and joyous at the same time.

That’s the experience of life. You take the good with the bad. But I still feel like I lost my way. Five years ago, I read Siddhartha and I considered myself destined for enlightenment, greatness, and an absolutely extraordinary life. But something happened

Life got in the way. The way it did for Siddhartha. The boy grew up with the brahmins and later spent time with the ascetics. But he gave it all up to go into the world. And experience love and pleasure. To make money, to eat heartily, and to drink merrily. And to also experience pain, heartbreak, and suffering. To lose money. To get fat and sick from his eating and drinking. The full range of human emotions. He experienced it all. I experienced it all. We both lost our ways.

That’s why I had to reread Siddhartha. Because I lost my way. Because Siddhartha also lost his way. He lost it for decades. But he found it again. He was born again. He found enlightenment in the end. And here’s the crazy part about all of that: he didn’t consider his earlier days to be a waste.

He spent 18 years studying to be a brahmin, but never became one. He spent 3 years with the ascetics and never got anything out of it. He spent decades as a wealthy merchant’s right-hand man. He experienced success and made tons of money. But he left it all behind, giving up the money, the fame, the prestige. He spent decades knowing and loving a beautiful woman, yet he gave it all up, including the son they had together. All those years wasted…or so it seems.

But to Siddhartha, it wasn’t a waste. He needed every single one of those experiences. He had to spend years learning under the brahmins, the ascetics, and even the Buddha himself to finally realize that he had to abandon teachers and the whole concept of seeking if he wanted to experience enlightenment. He had to learn the pleasures of the world from his lover and the wealthy merchant in order to experience the nausea and dissatisfaction that led to ultimately find pleasure in even the simplest of things, like the river that finally helps him achieve enlightenment. Every experience was important to him.

He just didn’t realize it until the very end, when he finally achieved enlightenment. Then he got clarity and he could finally see how everything connected. He had to have all of those experiences. Every single thing he did played a role in his enlightenment. Hesse’s novel has taught me a million things over the past 5 years, but this is perhaps the greatest lesson of them all. Life is about the totality of experience. Everything matters. Nothing is a waste. As Steve Jobs once said in his now famous graduation speech, “You can’t connect the dots going forward.” You can only connect the dots going background.

So the real question is this: “Do you have the patience.” The patience to wait for the mud to settle and the water to clear. And do you have the persistence to keep going? Do you have the resilience to break through all the pain, the nausea, the dissatisfaction? Do you have the fortitude to not succumb to the pleasures of the world? You have to be strong. Be patient. Be persistent and resilient. Fight through it all. If you can do that, you will be rewarded in the end.

Like Siddhartha was. It took him a long time, but it was worth it. Every experience mattered. Life is long, it’s difficult, it will test you like nothing else. You need to persist, you need to fight, you need to remain patient. And remember that life is about the totality of experience. Nothing is a waste. Nothing was a waste to Siddhartha.

That’s why I’m so glad I reread the book. After all the seemingly pointless pain and pleasure I’ve experienced since I first read the book, it was great to realize that everything really mattered. I was starting to question my life. To question the pointlessness of it all. To answer that age old question, “What is the meaning of life?”, with the simple answer, “Nothing”.

But life does have meaning. It means whatever you want it to mean. You have a choice. I have a choice. Siddhartha had a choice. He chose love. As he tells his lifelong friend Govinda in the final chapter,

“It seems to me that Love is the most important thing in the world. It may be important to great thinkers to examine the world, to explain and despise it. But I think it is only important to love the world, not to despise it, not for us to hate each other, but to be able to regard the world and ourselves and all beings with love, admiration and respect.”

This, is what Siddhartha believes is the meaning of life. He says we should look at all things with love because that is the most important thing. I agree with Siddhartha. You don’t have to. Life is what you make it. You don’t have to follow someone else. I choose to follow Siddhartha because Love is very important to me.

It may or not be important to you. But something is important to you. It might be friendship, travel, great experiences, romance, children, legacy, impact, power, or any number of other possibilities. Life does have meaning. It’s what you make of it.

And it’s determined by the totality of experiences. Siddhartha’s experiences—however meaningless they might seem—determined his life’s meaning. Your experiences will determine your life’s meaning.

So go forth. Find your meaning. Experience everything. It will be worth it in the end.

Sit in a Chair

Just sit.

In a chair.

For 20 minutes.

That’s it.

Find a chair in some quiet room in your house. Or a park bench. Or your car. Or the grass on your front lawn. Just find something to sit on.

Then set your timer for 20 minutes.

Then just sit there. Don’t talk. Don’t smile. Don’t eat. Don’t think. Just sit there.

And breathe. You have to breathe. Breathe deeply. Most of us breathe too shallowly. Your entire belly should fill with air as you in inhale. Then exhale fully. Put your hand on your stomach to feel your body fill up with air, only to release it a few seconds later.

Focus on your breathing. Don’t think about anything else.

Just breathe.

And sit.

For 20 minutes.

When the timer goes off, rejoice. You made it.

Congratulations!

That’s meditation.

The Revolution I Will Lead

I will lead a charge.

Of college students and recent graduates.

They will come to me uninspired, unprepared, and unhappy. They will be confused and they will feel worthless. They won’t know what to do. They’ll feel stuck. They will feel forced down a path they don’t want to go down.

I know because I was there. In many ways I’m still there. But every day I fight. For clarity. For knowledge. For power. For my dreams.

And I’ll fight right alongside you. I’ll lead the charge. Together we will lead a revolution.

We will create a world in which every college student is prepared for life after college. A world in which every student optimizes their college experience—to use college to develop the habits, skills, and passions that will guide them to a lifetime of success…and to have a whole lot of fun doing it. We will create a world in which no student graduates college with feelings of doubt, uncertainty and fear.

I’m here to wipe all of that out. To replace it with confidence, clarity, and courage.

College students are the future. They will change the world.

I’m here to make that a reality. I will be the general leading the charge. Join my army and let’s ride into battle…together.

What Difference Do I Want to Make

Today’s college students, and young people in general, are unsure, unready, and unprepared for an increasingly uncertain “real” world. I know because I was—and still am—one of them.

The world is scary and even traditionally safe paths are now becoming risky. Things are changing at a rapid pace due to lightning-fast developments in technology. But the old system is broken and it’s not being fixed. Schools, the government, teachers, counselors, parents…they’re all preparing today’s young people for a world that no longer exists, and that hasn’t existed for years.

All of that needs to change. Right now, there are individuals like Simon Sinek, Scott Dinsmore, and Charlie Hoehn who are giving it their all to make this change come true. They are  providing ideas, guidance, and support. These entrepreneurs—and hundreds more—are helping people navigate this complex and uncertain world. They’re helping and inspiring people all over the world to do meaningful work, support themselves financially, and lead happy and healthy lives. I know that because they’ve done it for me and countless other individuals.

I want to be like them. I want to make a difference. I want to help and inspire today’s college students to make the most of their college experiences. I want to help and inspire today’s college students to do work they love from the day they graduate to the day they die. I want to help and inspire today’s college students to leave a legacy that they can be proud of.

That’s what gets me up in the morning. That’s what fires me up. That’s why I spend 3-4 hours a day learning how to do this, reading books and blogs, watching inspiring videos, and figuring out how to make a difference. That’s why I think of 10 ideas a day. That’s why I write 1000 words a day.

I want to make a difference. If even just a single college student connects with my work and I help him or her do meaningful work, live an awesome life, and leave an important legacy, it will have all been worth it. I’m here for the people—today’s college students. That’s why I do this. Of course, the money would be nice. And it would be awesome to win awards and do cool things. But in the end, it’s all about the people.

How many college students can I help? My goal is a modest 1,000,000.

My Elevator Pitch

Every single person in this world is in sales and every single person needs an elevator pitch. Here’s mine:

“I’m a lifelong learner and a teacher, who helps college students get the most out of their college experience and prepare for an increasingly uncertain world. I constantly learn how to best help people through reading, taking courses, watching videos, and listening to podcasts. I then take all this information, synthesize it, and deliver it those I help through my writing. I’m extremely passionate about education and making every student’s educational experience better. My goal is to create a world in which every young person is inspired to do work they love and they have all the necessary tools and knowledge necessary to do this.”

That’s my pitch. What’s yours?

What I Am Most Proud Of

My Bucket List

If you know me, then you know that I’m all about bucket lists. To do this day, I will always tell people that creating my bucket list is the most important thing that I have ever done. More important than graduating high school and college, helping countless students through my writing and tutoring, and leading multiple teams over the years.

That’s because my bucket list sets the tone for the rest of my list. It contains all of my most important goals and dreams written (actually typed) on a single document. When my life is all said and done, I will die happy knowing I had completed every single item on my list.

For me, a bucket list isn’t static and it isn’t meant to be left alone until you’re on your deathbed. A bucket list is meant to be lived. I have 120 items on mine and I’ve already completed 25—that’s over one fifth of the items. I am constantly working on my list and setting new goals for myself. I am always changing my list around, adding cool new opportunities and removing things that no longer interest me. Right now, I’m working on becoming ambidextrous and after 2 previous failed attempts, I’m nearly there. Once I finish that, it’s on to the next item.

Just thinking about my bucket list makes me happy and proud. I highly encourage you all to write your own. If you need some inspiration, just read mine.

What Do People Thank Me For?

If you’re feeling lost, confused, or stuck, this is one of the most powerful questions you can ask yourself. The point of this question is actually think about the ways you help people with you skills and passions. Dig deep and you will discover hidden talents that you either don’t realize you have or that you aren’t giving yourself enough credit for.

I’m going to show you just how powerful this question can be by answering it right here. Hopefully, it gives me some much-needed clarity and provides you with some inspiration.

My Answer

People always thank me for listening. I’m the perfect confident. Maybe it’s my naturally quiet personality, my “soul-piercing” eye contact, or just the simple fact that I let people vent their problems to me and I never complain about it.

Whatever it is, for some reason, people love complaining to me. They love telling me their problems. And here’s the really cool part: just by listening to them, I help them in ways that I never could have imagined. People always thank me for listening. That usually leaves me with a confused look on my face.

“But I didn’t do anything,” I say. “I just sat there and shut up.”

“Exactly,” they say. “That’s exactly what I needed.”

You see, most people aren’t good listeners. Most people go into conversations just waiting for their turn to talk. But I listen. No matter how lengthy, boring, or disagreeable the other person’s monologue is. That’s why listening is my superpower.

My listening abilities have helped me out so much already. They were my most important asset as a tutor and a team leader during my college days. My students and my team loved me for my ability to listen to their problems and genuinely care about solving them. Being a great listener also made me a great friend. In my social circle, I was the local confidant. Everyone came to me with their problems and I listened to them all. And my friends thanked me. Now I usually didn’t solve their problems. But I listened. That’s usually enough.

Countless people have thanked me for listening. Now I just need to figure out how to turn that into a career and make a living listening to people. Perhaps I’ll be a psychiatrist or a teacher or a counselor. As long as I’m using my listening superpower, I know I’ll be doing what I was meant to do. I’ll thank myself for that.

What Really Makes Me Angry About the World

Now, normally my posts are fairly light-hearted and upbeat. But today I’m going to try something different.

The great Dale Carnegie used to say that anyone could become a public speaker if they were angry enough. You see anger can lead to passion and passion makes for great speeches. When it comes to helping people and living your legend, starting with your biggest frustrations can open up a lot of ideas as to the difference you want to make. Think of what consistently makes you mad about the world and what you wish was different.

Ask yourself the question: “What really makes me angry about the world?” Then answer it. Here’s my answer:

The education system.

I HATE the current school system in the United States. Now maybe I’m a bit jaded because I just spent the past 17 years of my life in it from kindergarten to college. I have a couple of nice diplomas to show for it. I also have some lifelong friends and some life-changing experiences, as well as some amazing memories. But by no means was the education system even close to perfect.

The emphasis on tests is just insane. Teachers just tell students what to learn—as opposed to teaching them how to learn—and students just regurgitate these answers come exam time. “Stuff and puke,” as my old history teacher called it. No real learning. Just fact memorization and regurgitation. Then a week after the final, we’d just forget at least 80% of what we learned. No long term gain.

The system was designed to make everyone photocopies of each other. You see, the modern schooling system is the result of a bureaucratic machine. That machine needed cogs to make it run, so that’s why schools were created. To create cogs in a machine. And when one cog broke, we’d need an exact copy to replace it. So we are trained not only to be cogs, but also to be copies of each other.

There’s just one problem: not everyone ends up working in the bureaucracy. Some do. But most don’t. So why in the world are we teaching students as if every last one of them will end up a cog. Doesn’t that seem strange to you? In the old days, only a select few would go to school and it would be those few who would enter the machine. Now everyone goes to school, but the machine doesn’t need that many cogs.

We need to change the whole education system. Start teaching people how to be free thinkers and entrepreneurs. The world has changed immensely, my friends. But education has remained impervious to innovation. Companies have been springing up in recent years to try to make a difference. Their efforts are noble, valiant, and a necessary first step. They are a sign of progress in the right direction. But we’re going to need a whole lot more.

Education is ripe for innovation. And I’m here to do my part. Join me, my friends, and together we can change what’s wrong.

 

Starting Your Self-Directed Path

I am currently reading my fellow Berkeley alumni Blake Boles’ book Better Than College (by the way, that was not intended to be a tongue twister). In this controversial book, Boles discusses the idea of success without college. This path is all about learning about oneself through a self-directed course of study focused on experiential learning. To help people get started on this path of self-direction, Boles poses three questions.

In this article, I list those three questions, as well as my own answers to them. Whether or not, you prescribe to the non-traditional, “unschooling” path, I highly recommend you actually take the time to write out your own answers to these questions. Remember, there is no better investment than the one you make in yourself. So take the time to actually find out about yourself. Hopefully my own answers provide some inspiration. Without further ado, let’s get started.

1. If you were going to die one year from today, what would you do differently?

I would start by pulling out my bucket list. There’s currently 95 items that I still need to do. I would pick my top 12—one for each month. Then I would gather all of my money and pool it. I would supplement that by money from my parents and also from a GoFundMe campaign.

I would then look at my top 12 bucket list items and just pick a single item. I would go all out on accomplishing that one item. Just for some specificity, I would choose “visit Angkor Wat” to be my first item. I would ask any friends or family if they would like to go, purchase the plane tickets, book the hotel rooms, and spend 2 entire weeks in Angkor Wat.

Once my Angkor Wat trip is over, I’d move on to the next item. “Write a novel” sounds like a good item to pick. I’d spend about a week or so prepping for the project and then go all out for 3-4 weeks to write it. I’d then publish it just for kicks and have all my loved ones buy copies of it. That would be awesome.

And then, I’d keep going down the list. If I finish my top 12 before the year is up, I’d just do more bucket list items—there are 95, after all, that I haven’t done. With each item, I’d do my best to incorporate my friends and family into it. For example, I would take them with me on my trips. I’d go skydiving or hot-air-balloon-riding with them. The only thing better than do awesome things is doing awesome things with awesome people. I would love to spend my last year with the best people I know.

At the very end, I’d splurge my remaining funds on an epic party and invite all of my friends and family. We’d have one last hurrah before it was all over. Then I could die happy, knowing that I lived my life to the fullest

2. If you had three years to create something that would change your world, how would you begin?

My dream is to create something that would vastly benefit today’s young people and college students, in terms of helping with their education and preparing them for an increasingly uncertain world.

I would begin by researching people who are already doing this. There’s tons of men and women who are just crushing it in this space. I’d make a ranked list and just go down the list, cold emailing or calling every last one of them. I would offer to do free work for them in return for their mentoring—an apprenticeship of sorts. At the same time, I would invest money in courses, books, seminars, and things like that to further my learning. So I would be getting both practical and theoretical knowledge about how to create something of value.

As my learning and apprenticeship is going on, I would take what I learned and begin applying it to create something awesome. I would constantly tweak, pivot, and reiterate as I learn and grow. At the end, I would have an amazing product that would fulfill my dream.

3. If you were forbidden from accumulating vast material wealth, how would you live differently?

I would spend all of my money—besides what I spend on bare necessities—on two things: charity and experiences.

I would give, give, give to all of my favorite charities. Pencils of Promise. Heifer International. Kiva. Elizabeth Glaser Pediatric AIDS Foundation. I’d give so much money to all of them. And I’d donate a good amount of it anonymously. Not just to cross off a bucket list item, but also because it feels so much better to give selflessly, expecting not even recognition in return.

And then I’d spare no expenses on awesome experiences. I’d go skydiving, visit the Seven Wonders of the World, attend life-changing conferences, and chill out on the sand dunes of Egypt. I’d do it all and I’d take all of my favorite people with me. I would have the time of my life.


So there you have it. Those are my answers to three life-changing questions. Hopefully it inspires you to take the time to actually write out your own answers. Trust me, you won’t regret it.

Why I Blog

My name is Raman Veerappan. I am 22-year old recent college graduate of the University of California, Berkeley. Like a whole lot of recent college grads and 20-somethings, I’m super confused. I started this blog to put my confused thoughts to paper and hopefully discover some clarity. I’ve heard of countless stories of people who were once in my position. They used their blogs to start business, get dream jobs, and do meaningful work.

I’m just trying to do the same things here. I want to discover my why. I want to start a winning business, or at least work for one. I want to do meaningful work that I love with people I love. I don’t think I’m asking for much. Hopefully this blog allows me to do that. Hopefully, it creates opportunities, helps me discover my passion, and allows me to do amazing things. That’s all I’m asking.