Tell me if this sounds familiar. You are sitting at home, watching your favorite movie or TV show. Your favorite character is getting ready to do the dumbest thing imaginable. You shout, you stand up, you throw things…just because you don’t want him to do the dumbest thing imaginable. But then you think to yourself, “He has to do this; otherwise their would be no show.” You see, my friends, conflict is necessary to a good movie or TV show.
What would Star Wars be without the Death Star? What would Sherlock Holmes be without a constant stream of murder cases? What would Modern Family be without typical familial strife and dysfunction? I’ll tell you what: they’d all be super boring, unpopular, and no one would watch them. You need conflict for good entertainment. And the interesting thing is that conflict isn’t just a necessity in the entertainment industry; it’s also a necessity in a happy life.
In his seminal book The Happiness Hypothesis, Jonathan Haidt argues that adversity—provided it isn’t life-damaging as with PTSD—plays a major role in happiness. Conflict sets the stage for personal growth and self-reflection, both important aspects of a good life. Conflict also serves as a necessary contrast. After all, there is no victory without defeat, happiness without suffering, or pleasure without pain. The good is only good in contrast with the bad.
So the next time conflict enters your life, don’t scream and shout, like you do at your favorite character on the television screen. Instead, take some time to reflect and come up with a plan to overcome the adversity. Because we are often at our happiest when we are conquering life’s challenges. People who run successful companies look back on the early stages—times when they didn’t even know if their company would survive—and view these tough times as the “good ol’ days.” So if times are tough for you, my friend, don’t worry. These are the best of times.