Out of all the great superheroes in the DC Universe (think Justice League), my all-time favorite is Batman.
Now, I know what you’re probably thinking. “Batman isn’t a real superhero. He doesn’t even have any superheroes.”
Here’s what I have to say to that: “complete and total nonsense.”
Batman is a real superhero. In fact, he’s the greatest superhero in the entire Justice League. I’m going to show you why by doing a direct comparison between Batman and Superman, the two most iconic superheroes in the world.
In March 2016, the two heroes are going to fight on the big screen in Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice. I’m going to have them go head-to-head on this blog post. And I’m going to focus on a comparison of their abilities: Superman’s superpowers vs. Batman’s “superpowers”.
Let’s start with Superman.
Superman’s Superpowers
Super Strength
More powerful than a locomotive.
But when have I ever needed to be more powerful than a locomotive? I’ll never need to lift a car in my entire life. I’ll never need to punch dudes so hard they fly through 2 buildings. I’ll never need to stop a runaway train or a meteor with my bare hands.
Now it would be great if I ever did need to do those things…but I don’t.
Completely useless power if you ask me.
X-Ray Vision
Seeing through walls would be cool. But what purpose would that serve? I’m not a spy. I’m not a cop. Who do I need to use this on?
Seeing through people’s clothes would be cooler. But why would I ever want to do that? With the advent of the internet, I have instant access to naked images of the most attractive people in the world. And everyone knows that attractive people look better with minimal clothes than they do completely naked.
Completely useless power if you ask me.
Heat Vision
I don’t know about you guys, but I own a microwave. I also own matches, a lighter, an oven, and I have access to a power torch. Why would I ever need heat vision?
Completely useless superpower if you ask me.
Flight
Gotta admit, I love flying.
And I hate the whole airline system. I hate waiting in line after line at the airport. I hate going through the tedium that is airport security. I hate sitting for hours on end in super-uncomfortable seats, while my only source of sustenance is a few measly peanuts.
But that’s the best that we humans can do, a century after Wilbur and Orville first got us in the air.
It’s even better than being able to fly like Superman.
That’s because his style of flying is weird and dangerous. People will see you, magically floating in the air. You’ll hit birds and eat insects. You’ll be targeted by the military: “You are in a strict no-fly zone!” You’ll be exposed to the elements. It’s cold up there!
No thanks. I’ll stick to my TSA and my Southwest peanuts.
Completely useless superpower if you ask me.
Invulnerability
Having bullets bounce off of me would be really cool. I’ll give you that.
But we have Kevlar. And nobody ever shoots at me. Sure, it would great to be invulnerable if someone did shoot at me.
But I’d rather take my chances. After all, I can’t live forever. Life would have no meaning then. I’m not going to resist my fate.
I like being vulnerable. That’s what makes me human. I don’t want to be invulnerable.
Completely useless ability if you ask me.
Speed
Faster than a speeding bullet!
That’s Superman.
But again, why would I ever need super speed.
I don’t like being in a rush. I like to take things slow. I like to stop and smell the roses. You can’t do that if you’re going hundreds of miles and hour.
I love taking walks. It’s so peaceful. I have no need for speed.
Completely useless power if you ask me.
Batman’s “Superpowers”
Wealth
Now this is a real power.
While Clark Kent, is some lowly middle-class-at-best reporter (dying industry, by the way), Bruce Wayne is the billionaire owner of Wayne Enterprises.
He has a mansion, an awesome car, and the world’s greatest butler.
He also donates a ton of money to charity. Now philanthropy…that’s a real superpower. His money certainly saves more lives than Superman’s strength.
And in this world, money solves all problems. You can do anything if you have enough money, and Batman has no shortage of money.
That’s a real superpower.
Gadgets
The bat-mobile. The motorcycle. The acid pellets and the gas bombs. The grapple hooks. The batarangs. The bat claw. The grenades. The trackers. I’ve even seen him with a jet pack and a plane.
I could go on and on and on.
Batman’s utility belt is iconic. This is what he physically uses to defeat his enemies.
The key to Batman’s gadgets is preparation. It seems like Batman always has the perfect tool in his belt to defeat the opponent he is facing. This is no coincidence. It is the result of proper preparation.
Batman pairs that preparation with perfect execution. Each gadget is deployed at exactly the right time for maximum effectiveness.
If only we could prepare and execute the way Batman does with his vast array of gadgets.
That’s a real superpower.
Intelligence
Batman is incredibly smart. He is often called the “World’s Greatest Detective”, an epithet that he shares with only one other person—Sherlock Holmes, another real hero.
That’s great company, if you ask me.
Batman fights crimes and solves problems using his intelligence. He overpowers stronger opponents—many of whom have “real” powers—using strategy, wit, and preparation.
Now those are some real powers. Super strength can help you lift a car, but intelligence can help you lift up the whole world with your life-changing ideas. Plus, it lets you defeat any opponent.
That’s a real superpower.
Fear
Batman is one of the darker superheroes out there. He relies heavily on fear to defeat the bad guys.
And out of this fear comes a sense of respect. Bad guys just don’t mess with Batman.
If you can instill a level of fear—and with it, a good level of respect—people won’t mess with you either.
That’s a real superpower.
Leadership
The Justice League is loaded with the greatest superheroes in the DC Universe. Can you guess who leads them?
If you said “Batman”, you’re right. That’s right. The guy with no real superpowers leads a team of the greatest superheroes in the world.
That’s because he possesses leadership abilities that the others lack. Sure they may be able to fly or lift buildings or shoot energy rays out of their hands, but they aren’t leaders.
Batman is a real leader. He uses his intelligence to solve mysteries, track the bad guys, and devise winning strategies. He uses his strong moral compass to guide the team down the right path. He uses his ability to inspire to ignite the Justice League. He uses the respect he commands to keep the team in line.
That’s real leadership.
That’s a real superpower.
So on the surface, it appears as though Superman is the real superhero and Batman is just a phony, with no real superpowers. But if you were to give me the choice right now between Superman’s superpowers and Batman’s “superpowers”, I would choose Batman’s “superpowers” in a heartbeat.
Wealth, gadgets, intelligence, fear, and leadership. Now those are real superpowers. So much more useful than Superman’s strength, speed, flight, invulnerability, heat vision, and X-ray vision.
Batman’s abilities would actually be useful to me. I could use those in my daily life to inspire people and change the world. I can’t say the same about Superman’s so-called superpowers.